SisDr Sandra Richards

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Amplified Utterings

I have concerns about a number of issues and will use this page to air them, amplify my thoughts and avoid muttering. Hopefully, you will be sufficiently intrigued to revisit and also to write back

I wonder about reparations, education, healing, relationships so on and so forth.

These amplifications will not only take the form of English, for as some of you may know already, ‘English is not my first language’. English doesn't have the capacity to permit the proper conveying of deep feelings of hurt or healing. I will use different vehicles to communicate and am confident that many of you will be able to follow because English probably isn’t your first language either.

Let’s convert this monologue to dialogue and see what you can reveal in the interaction. The only rules that apply here are respect of each other and respecting the right to have a different opinion.

My first amplification is around the notion of ‘forgiveness’. Despite many programmes I still don’t get it. We are in a crisis. Daily we hear about systems of exploitation, oppression and random murders. Why is it that there is pressure to forgive? My closest proximity to forgiveness is ‘acceptance’. Now, English is not my first language and so let me explain that I do not mean ‘agreement’. What I mean by acceptance is recognising that, whether you agree or not, an event has indeed taken place rather than being in denial. However, forgiveness is a whole different plate of food!

My training directs me to think that forgiveness is good for the Soul of the forgiver. The forgiven is not expected to change in any way. In short, an act takes place by one and not by the other. Reciprocity is left out of the equation. No indication of remorse is sought from the perpetrator. Remorse is a state of Being. It means being genuinely sorry and saying so. The next step is to act out of this genuine remorse and right any wrong. This brings forth repair. Sincerity of this remorse requires the relinquishing of all unearned matters derived from the act of wrongdoing. Privilege and ill-gotten gains must be relinquished. How in the heck can one be expected to forgive someone who continues to do you wrong?